Body jokes
What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
Why did Stephanie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Not Stephanie!
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
You've got a body inside you. It's called your bones.
Eat my butt.
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally!
What has fingernails and legs made of grass? You, I lied about the grass.
Kim Jong-Un thicc af.
Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in 10% of their body.
Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"
Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"
Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."
Why does the nucleus feel trapped?
Because it’s inside a cell!
Your mama's so fat, scientists found a new planet called Heranus.
Why did the girl never go upstairs?
Because she had no legs.
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms!
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" And the doctor replied, "I know. I amputated your arms."
How did I know where you would go next?
Oh, I felt it in my bones!
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone!
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
What did the guy with two hands say to the guy with one hand?
"Hi-five!"