Body jokes
You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.
My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records. -- Then the librarian told me to take it out.
How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?
Take a flute and shove it up your ass.
What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?
Their knees.
Yo mama so fat, she got baptized at SeaWorld.
Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Black Temple, it became Sunken Temple.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to straighten her pubic hair and burned her balls.
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"
Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three-body problem.
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?
Because its head is so far away from its body.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
You can keep the tip.
How do skeletons have sex?
They bone each other.
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
What is the second hardest thing in the morning?
Getting up.