Body jokes
What's the difference between a pool and a toddler?
One doesn't scream when you go in dry ;)
Did you hear about the mad who got his whole left side cut off? He's all right now.
Penis.
What do you call a man with no legs?
Neil (kneel)
Timmy goes to the doctor and says, "There's a crack in my butt, doctor." Timmy, there is a crack in everyone's butt, see?
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.
Some guy farts and says, "That was some asshole behind me."
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.
What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
Why did Stephanie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Not Stephanie!
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
You've got a body inside you. It's called your bones.
Eat my butt.
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally!
What has fingernails and legs made of grass? You, I lied about the grass.
Kim Jong-Un thicc af.
Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in 10% of their body.
Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"
Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"
Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."