Body jokes
I always felt like a man trapped in a woman's body. But then I was born.
But in my defense, I was young then, and I had a womb without a view.
What did the butt cheek say to the other when you open us a big order of "choochie man" comes out?
How much did the liver weigh?
It weighed a skeleTON.
What do you call a foot that got beaten at everything?
De-feeted (Defeated)
What do you say to a foot that got beaten at everything?
De-feeted (Defeated)
What part in the body does an adult not need but actually needs to live?
A KIDNey!
What is better than hitting a booty? Playing with the titties.
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd-shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
Two bald dudes were pulling each other's hair.
I farted how bout u?
I heard an Uber from your eyebrows to your hairline is like $40.
Why does Job have an Area 51 head? Because his head is the shape of a 🦖.
So, if being a paedophile is a career, then burying the bodies must be gardening.
What did the butt say to the other butt? "I got big fat apples for butt checks!"
Why did the skeleton never get cold? Because it went right through him!
What's the difference between a mole and a priest?
One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.
Why did the fire not burn the kid? Because it had no lips.
What kind of chair inhabits your soul?
A hair!
A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.
I work at a morgue and we wrap the bodies in bubble wrap.
I was working the night shift and just looking at the security cameras, but then I heard popping behind me!