Body Part jokes
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want—he can’t hear you.
What is your name?
My ankle is named Samantha.
I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.
What's big and round?
Mine and not yours.
Armless child: Can you give me a hand??
Me: Ok.
Up your pp with a piece of crap!
Arms.
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."
I've been told I've got a perfect cock.
She sure was hard on me when I took it from her, though.
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.
Girls with the name Carley have the biggest forehead on the earth, I mean, moon.
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Say, "Crack my fingers."
Now say that backwards...
Your forehead is so big, a whole jungle grew on it.
What do you call a woman with one leg?
Eileen.
Why don't amputees ever get cold? They're always wearing their stump warmers.
My name is Myria, my right nut.
What did the father name his daughter with no legs?
Peggy.
Why did the squirrel swim on its back?
So it didn't get its nuts wet.