I can see my future in your forehead.
If your left nut was Thanksgiving and your right nut was Christmas, then you wouldn't have any balls because they're holidays.
Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?
Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.
Husband: "I think I might take a picture of your breasts and frame it."
Wife: "I think I'll take a picture of your penis and enlarge it."
What's green and smells like ham?
Kermit the frog's fingers.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late?
A cold shoulder.
Control tower to Boeing 747, you're clear to land on (said person)'s forehead.
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?
A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it.
Doctor: "I have good news and bad news."
Guy: "What's the bad news?"
Doc: "They replaced your toe with a piece of candy."
Guy: "Good news?"
Doc: "You now have tic tac toe."
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.
About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"
Your forehead is so big, a whole jungle grew on it.
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.
What has four legs and one arm? A doberman at the playground.
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
Mooning is very astrological!
