Body Part jokes
Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?
Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.
Despite my devilish attitude, I have the heart of a small boy.
I keep it in a jar on my desk.
If your left nut was Thanksgiving and your right nut was Christmas, then you wouldn't have any balls because they're holidays.
What has four legs and one arm? A doberman at the playground.
Husband: "I think I might take a picture of your breasts and frame it."
Wife: "I think I'll take a picture of your penis and enlarge it."
What's green and smells like ham?
Kermit the frog's fingers.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late?
A cold shoulder.
Control tower to Boeing 747, you're clear to land on (said person)'s forehead.
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it.
Doctor: "I have good news and bad news."
Guy: "What's the bad news?"
Doc: "They replaced your toe with a piece of candy."
Guy: "Good news?"
Doc: "You now have tic tac toe."
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.
About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite song?
"Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes."
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What has eyes but can't see?
Potatoes, storms, and needles.
Your forehead is so big, a whole jungle grew on it.
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.