Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.
What do you call a booty that’s always negative?
A pessimist-cheek.
What’s a booty’s favorite type of bread?
Buns.
What did the booty say when it was asked to help?
"I've got your backside covered!"
Why did the chair file a restraining order?
The booty wouldn't stop cracking up!
Why don't booties get invited to parties?
They tend to CRACK people up!
How does a booty apologize?
From the bottom of his fart!
How do booties greet each other?
"What's crackin'?"
What do you call an artist with a brown finger?
Picasshole.
The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”
No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”
Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”
Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.
“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
What has four legs and one arm? A doberman at the playground.
What did the boy say to his fingers? I'm counting on you.
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike; I just collect body parts.
If your left nut was Thanksgiving and your right nut was Christmas, then you wouldn't have any balls because they're holidays.
I can see my future in your forehead.
Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?
Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.
I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.
