Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
What do you call a snail without a shell?
Dead.
When her head game is so strong, she sucks the chromosome right out of you.
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.
Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?
Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says "Owwww" are his arms.
Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of antibodies.
Why canât skeletons fight? They donât have the guts.
Q: What's the difference between a fetus and an onion?
A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces.
If I was any more inbred, I'd be a sandwich.
What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?
It said nothing, just let out a little wine.
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
By the way, infertility is hereditary:
If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.
Why canât dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."
Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.
Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fish with no eyes.
Mushroom?
