Biology jokes
Yeah, I'm made out of DNA.
✨ Depression and anxiety ✨
When her head game is so strong, she sucks the chromosome right out of you.
There are only 2 genders: if you have a dick, or a pussy.
If I was any more inbred, I'd be a sandwich.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
David? Mitosis.
Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
What do you call a snail without a shell?
Dead.
Q: What's the difference between a fetus and an onion?
A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces.
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.
Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?
Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says "Owwww" are his arms.
Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of antibodies.
Why can’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.
By the way, infertility is hereditary:
If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?
It said nothing, just let out a little wine.
Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?
Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...
Son: Am I kidnapped?
Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.