Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.
What do you call a snail without a shell?
Dead.
When her head game is so strong, she sucks the chromosome right out of you.
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.
Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?
Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says "Owwww" are his arms.
Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of antibodies.
Q: What's the difference between a fetus and an onion?
A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces.
If I was any more inbred, I'd be a sandwich.
What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?
It said nothing, just let out a little wine.
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
By the way, infertility is hereditary:
If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."
Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.
Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
Mushroom?
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.
Why are Amoebas so bad at math? Because, when they need to multiply, they divide
Today my biology teacher asked me what's commonly found in a cell......... And apparently "black people" isn't the right answer.
If trees were sentient, they would make their furniture out of bone, flesh, and blood.
Now ain't that cool?
What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.
