Biology jokes
My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
Life is like a penis. It is short.
I know a lot of people hate tapeworms, but they will always have a special place in my heart.
Why are life and a penis alike?
Women make both of them hard.
What happens to teeth when they go in water?
Bro, I dunno, they get wet?
Why don’t alligators grow up to 15 feet?
They only have 4.
What did the first skeleton say to the second skeleton?
Why couldn't the T-rex clap his hands?
Because he's dead.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh f-i-s-h (and the eye).
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.
Your mom is pregnant and you're the father.
Yo mama so fat, her blood type is mayonnaise.
I get knocked down, but I get up again, as long as I have 46 chromosomes.
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?
A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
What is a room you can not enter?
A mushroom.
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
Q: What type of mother gives their daughter sperm? A: A furry mother.
What keeps you breathing when you're on Earth?
I don't know. I suffocated at birth.
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.