Why do orphans hate mitosis cells?
They have parents.
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.
What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.
The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.
Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.
Why could dinosaurs not talk? Because they were dead.
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
"Octo" means 8 and an octopus has 8 legs... so where did the "pus" come from?
Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.
Why don't you act like an amoeba and split?
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have pockets. I’m
People are like sharks; only the great ones are white.
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.
What is the definition of a woman?
A life support system for a vagina.
What did the flower say to the crazy peanut?
"Ur going nuts boii, get back on yo' plant. Ur too nuts for me."
What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?
Ereptile Dysfunction!
