Biology jokes
How do oysters call their friends?
On shell phones!
What is the strongest creature in the sea?
A mussel!
What do you call a mushroom that makes music?
A decomposer.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
The greatest bond you will ever have is the one with your conjoined twin.
Memes
Did you know
How do you tell if a loaf of bread has Down Syndrome?
It has an extra crumb-osome.
What's the difference between you and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
Q. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
A. Because it has a silent pee.
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
Why did the squirrel swim on his back?
To keep his nuts dry.
What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.
Why could dinosaurs not talk? Because they were dead.
Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.
What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.
Why do orphans hate mitosis cells?
They have parents.
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
If trees were sentient, they would make their furniture out of bone, flesh, and blood.
Now ain't that cool?
What did the egg say to the other egg?
Nothing, they can't talk.
Just think, when we're getting fucked, we make our own food.
Why are Amoebas so bad at math?
Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.