Biology jokes
What do women and moldy bread have in common?
A yeast infection.
What kind of tree fits into your hand? A palm tree.
Tumblr people: "There are an infinite amount of genders."
The cannibal kid: "Bitch, please. There's just one gender: Food."
How did the orphan survive birth?
U
God creates a mosquito :)
God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.
Angel: okay... a bug.
God: now give it’s face a sword, but it has a hole so it’s basically a mouth.
Angel: weird... but okay...
God: and give it wings.
Angel: eh, not half bad Go-
God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS
Angel: *shook* o-okay
God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.
Angel: .-.
God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give ‘em a taste ‘o that! *evil grin*
Angel: *cries*
Angel: *whispers; I’m so sorry..*
Memes
NIGGAAA
Why did the cheetah need to fart on the lion? So he could win the race.
A brain eats cheddar cheese.
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
One of them has a family tree.
If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?
12, because fish don't drown.
How do skeletons make love?
They bone each other!
I farted.
Yo mama so FAT...
That when she had sex with you...
Your balls turned to pancakes.
Leukophobic people don’t have sex. Leukophobia is the fear of white.
Q: What did one snake say to the other?
A: Nothing because they are both dead.
Q: What did the DNA say to the other DNA?
A: Do these genes make my butt look fat? 💩
What is the smallest room in the world?
A mushroom.
Yo mama's so stinky that whenever she walks into a building, the flies drop dead!
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.
Why did the mushroom kill himself?
Because he had a mushy life.
My peepee small.