Biology jokes
What is the difference between a white octopus and a white squid?
A white octopus isn't in the KKK!
Why did the kids love the mushrooms?
Because they're fun-guys!
Where did the mushroom kill himself?
In the mushroom.
I don't get mitosis.
So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."
And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
'Cause they're dead.
How did the orphan survive birth?
U
What do women and moldy bread have in common?
A yeast infection.
Tumblr people: "There are an infinite amount of genders."
The cannibal kid: "Bitch, please. There's just one gender: Food."
What kind of tree fits into your hand? A palm tree.
God creates a mosquito :)
God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.
Angel: okay... a bug.
God: now give it’s face a sword, but it has a hole so it’s basically a mouth.
Angel: weird... but okay...
God: and give it wings.
Angel: eh, not half bad Go-
God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS
Angel: *shook* o-okay
God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.
Angel: .-.
God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give ‘em a taste ‘o that! *evil grin*
Angel: *cries*
Angel: *whispers; I’m so sorry..*
Why did the cheetah need to fart on the lion? So he could win the race.
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
A brain eats cheddar cheese.
Bonnie Blue's son could win a science fair just by participating.
What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
One of them has a family tree.
I farted.
If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?
12, because fish don't drown.
How do skeletons make love?
They bone each other!
Yo mama so FAT...
That when she had sex with you...
Your balls turned to pancakes.