What do stomata use to fill their pools?
Chlor-ine.
What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.
So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."
And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"
What does the cell ride to work?
A vesicle.
Why don’t alligators grow up to 15 feet?
They only have 4.
Who is king of the insects?
The Monarch.
Where is an elephant’s penis?
On their feet, because if you get trampled on, you’re fucked.
Engineer: I know engineering, and my gut instinct tells me to fix it!
Biologist: I know biology, and your gut instinct is full of shit.
Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of antibodies.
What is the smallest room in the world?
A mushroom.
What is a room you can not enter?
A mushroom.
What do you call a snail without a shell?
Dead.
Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead. It also had rings.
Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit.
Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy.
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?
A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
The ocean didn't start smelling like fish until women started swimming in it.
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
Charlotte looks like a sperm.
What do my baby and dinosaurs have in common? They are both dead.
What did the penis say to its pee?
"Urine."
