Biology jokes
What do stomata use to fill their pools?
Chlor-ine.
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
When you slap the mosquito, it stops sucking.
What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.
My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.
Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."
And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"
What does the cell ride to work?
A vesicle.
A mushroom walks into a bar and tries to hit on a blonde. When she turns him down, he goes to her and says, "C'mon, I'm a fun guy!"
Why don’t alligators grow up to 15 feet?
They only have 4.
Who is king of the insects?
The Monarch.
Where is an elephant’s penis?
On their feet, because if you get trampled on, you’re fucked.
Engineer: I know engineering, and my gut instinct tells me to fix it!
Biologist: I know biology, and your gut instinct is full of shit.
Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of antibodies.
What is the smallest room in the world?
A mushroom.
What is a room you can not enter?
A mushroom.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
What do you call a snail without a shell?
Dead.
Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead. It also had rings.
Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit.
Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy.
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?
A life expectancy of 15-25 days.