Yo momma so fat, she made up of a lot of atoms.
Mushroom.
Why does the mushroom 🍄 have many friends?
Because it’s a fungi.
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
Why did the mushroom get a new house?
Because there wasn’t mushroom!
Mushroom?
Why do women have periods?
Because they deserve them, haha!
What was the oak tree's response to the apple tree's joke?
You should leaf it alone!
What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.
What do a moose and a triceratops have in common?
Both have noses.
Why can't cheetahs run forever? Because they run out of breath!
One day, there was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end!
"Octo" means 8 and an octopus has 8 legs... so where did the "pus" come from?
Why do women fart when they pee? To blow dry.
What's the resemblance between a microwave and human reproduction?
They both make a sound at the end.
What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?
Ereptile Dysfunction!
What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?
(Insulin)
Archer riddle has less atoms in his brain than he does in his dick, and his dick is 1/4 of a millimeter.
What did the fish say to the other fish?
"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.
