Yo mama's so stinky that whenever she walks into a building, the flies drop dead!
Why are cheetahs the best animals?
The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour.
A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds.
Cheetahs are extremely fast; however, they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue.
Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms.
One way to always recognize a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines,” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances.
Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs.
While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day.
A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away.
Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision.
With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight.
Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.
What is the strongest creature in the sea?
A mussel!
How do oysters call their friends?
On shell phones!
What do cheetahs wear to work?
They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!
How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
How can you tell if a gay guy has a high sperm count?
Chew when you swallow!
What did the first skeleton say to the second skeleton?
Why did the mushroom go to the party??
Because he was a fungi!
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Eggs don’t cum.
"Simba is proof cats don’t always land on their feet."
I don't get mitosis.
Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?
Because there was no chemistry...
I make science puns, but only periodically.
Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.
What did the stepbrother and stepsister do together?
Oof, mitosis!
David? Mitosis.
What did Allan say to his sister bully when she stepped on his toe? "Mitosis!"
What did the dog say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? "Hey, mitosis!"
What do cells call their friends with? A cell phone.
