Biology jokes
What is the strongest creature in the sea?
A mussel!
How do oysters call their friends?
On shell phones!
What do cheetahs wear to work?
They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
because skeletons aren't alive and can't move, so it's impossible for him to cross the road.
What do you call a male ladybug?
Trans.
God creates a mosquito :)
God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.
Angel: okay... a bug.
God: now give it’s face a sword, but it has a hole so it’s basically a mouth.
Angel: weird... but okay...
God: and give it wings.
Angel: eh, not half bad Go-
God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS
Angel: *shook* o-okay
God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.
Angel: .-.
God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give ‘em a taste ‘o that! *evil grin*
Angel: *cries*
Angel: *whispers; I’m so sorry..*
How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
How can you tell if a gay guy has a high sperm count?
Chew when you swallow!
What does a grape do if a rhino is about to squash it?
Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.
Q: What does a cat have that no other animal has?
A: Kittens.
What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.
What do you call a fish without eyes?
- Fsh.
What did the first skeleton say to the second skeleton?
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Sinocyclocheilus anophthalmus.
Why did the mushroom go to the party??
Because he was a fungi!
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Eggs don’t cum.
"Simba is proof cats don’t always land on their feet."
I don't get mitosis.