Biology jokes
A monkey eats cheese. He was lactose intolerant.
What did the dinosaur say to the man?
It didn’t, they're dead.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple...
An apple has a family tree.
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?
Two swallows.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put the wrong socks on this morning.
Do you know what it takes to beat cancer?
Heartbeat.
When you die, scientists will preserve your skull.
What do you call a three humped camel?
The extra detention didn't do much, but the extra chromosome definitely did.
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
What is the toughest part of the human body?
Anal hair, all the shit that they go through.
What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Answer: The mosquito stops sucking if you slap hard enough.
What's the single worst terrestrial species? Humans, obviously.
What do skeletons do with their organs?
They organize them!
Roberto: Judd, your DNA looks like the infinite symbol.
Judd: Roberto, your DNA looks like a pasta noodle.
Which dinosaurs masturbated the most? Triceratops, they were the horniest!
What do you call a once that's an insect?
A creepy crawly.
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.
What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?