Biology jokes
What did the dinosaur say to the man?
It didn’t, they're dead.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple...
An apple has a family tree.
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?
Two swallows.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put the wrong socks on this morning.
Do you know what it takes to beat cancer?
Heartbeat.
When you die, scientists will preserve your skull.
What do you call a three humped camel?
The extra detention didn't do much, but the extra chromosome definitely did.
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
What is the toughest part of the human body?
Anal hair, all the shit that they go through.
What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Answer: The mosquito stops sucking if you slap hard enough.
What's the single worst terrestrial species? Humans, obviously.
What do skeletons do with their organs?
They organize them!
Roberto: Judd, your DNA looks like the infinite symbol.
Judd: Roberto, your DNA looks like a pasta noodle.
Which dinosaurs masturbated the most? Triceratops, they were the horniest!
What do you call a once that's an insect?
A creepy crawly.
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.
What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?
Cousin: Hahaha, I am their biological parent.
Kid: So what? At least they love me more.