Beverage jokes

What do you call a sad cup of coffee?

Depresso!!! LOL XD XD XD

Roses are red, violets are blue, You make me pee like I drink tea, you make me go buzz, like becoming a fuzz.

It sticks in, but it goes to the bin, after its use, it will be reused, no it is not what your thinking its -~-(clay)-~-

Why do your orphans not drink beer?

Because last time they did, he went to suck some dudes' toes, then he tried to take him to his parents, but I guess that never happened.

Yo, look, they give me and my girl free pizza and a big bottle of rabbit wine. Yay, yay! Don't drink too much of it; you might turn into a wine rabbit.

Why can’t orphans order from Costa?

They need a parent or guardian with them.

Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."

You know where I get my soda? Mini-soda.

A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So what will it be this time?" The penguin doesn't answer because it's a penguin.

A dwarf walks into a bar.

He asks for a shot of whiskey. The bartender gives him the 🥃, and it turns into a gallon of whiskey. The bartender sees this and takes it back, and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.

POV: Wine Taster in hell.

I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"

The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.

"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."

"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."

Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?

He was lucky it was a soft drink!

Yo mama is so stupid, she thought that fruit punch was a boxer.

What do you call a white person having a seizure?

A milkshake.

What’s a German’s favorite drink? Orange Jews. Hundred percent concentrated.

I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.

They brought it over but spilled it on me.

I said that was a udder failure!

Why do emo kids drink only herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft.

Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at a cup of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."

I like my coffee black. Just like my soul.

What was Osama bin Laden's favorite drink?

A double Manhattan.

Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.