A dwarf walks into a bar.
He asks for a shot of whiskey. The bartender gives him the đ„, and it turns into a gallon of whiskey. The bartender sees this and takes it back, and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.
Beverage Jokes
A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So what will it be this time?" The penguin doesn't answer because it's a penguin.
You know where I get my soda? Mini-soda.
POV: Wine Taster in hell.
I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"
The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.
"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."
"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."
Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."
Why do emo kids drink only herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft.
Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice?
Because it said "concentration camp."
Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! đ€§
What was Osama bin Laden's favorite drink?
A double Manhattan.
I like my coffee black. Just like my soul.
Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at a cup of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."
What's a energy drink orphans never tried? "Mother".
Fruit punch sounds like the name of a gay boxer.
Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.
"Youâre the milk to my cookies."
Donât kill the Earth, itâs the only one with beer.
Yo mama so stupid that she had an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
I like my woman how I like my wine, just under 2 years old.
Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.
Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.
There's like a weird after taste though.
Kinda like a sparkling water one.
I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.
I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.
