Beverage jokes
What do dogs drink? Pupsi.
I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.
They brought it over but spilled it on me.
I said that was a udder failure!
How do you call Doom guy that drinks Monster Zero? Boom guy!
What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.
Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.
Why can't I drink tea??
Because I laugh too much. TEEEEEHEHEEE
Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.
I like my coffee black. Just like my soul.
Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.
Why do emo kids drink only herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft.
Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at a cup of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A milkshake.
Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.
What's a energy drink orphans never tried? "Mother".
Fruit punch sounds like the name of a gay boxer.
"You’re the milk to my cookies."
Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧
I hate when my father doesn't cook me cocktails for tea.
Don’t kill the Earth, it’s the only one with beer.
I like my woman how I like my wine, just under 2 years old.