Beverage jokes
I like my woman how I like my wine, just under 2 years old.
Don’t kill the Earth, it’s the only one with beer.
Yo mama so stupid that she had an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.
What's a energy drink orphans never tried? "Mother".
Memes
My mom after she has had enough of us
"You’re the milk to my cookies."
Fruit punch sounds like the name of a gay boxer.
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice?
Because it said "concentration camp."
Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧
Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.
Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.
There's like a weird after taste though.
Kinda like a sparkling water one.
I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.
I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.
What do dogs drink? Pupsi.
The baby water bottle said to the mommy water bottle, "Mommy, I lost my teddy bear." The mommy water bottle said, "Why don't you RECAP on what you said?"
How do you call Doom guy that drinks Monster Zero? Boom guy!
What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.
Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.
Why can't I drink tea??
Because I laugh too much. TEEEEEHEHEEE
Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.
How does a rapper like their coffee?
With a little bit of FLOW CREAMER.
Why did the orange lose the race?
Because it ran out of juice!