The only difference between you and Jesus, is that jesus believed in himself.
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes
Religion crashes them.
Why did the orphan cross the street because they thought that mommy and daddy was on the other side
Hi guys, I have a brain teaser for you! Leave it in the comment section if you figure it out. Here you go! If you kill yourself (suicide which is technically murder) will you go to Heaven or Hell? Because you murdered yourself, but what if you were a Christian? That was my brain teaser for you guys! make sure you leave what you came up with for the answer in the comment section below!! PEACE OUT!!!! :)
When ariana grande walked into the chruch she said GOD IS A WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian, therefore he could never be himself.
Why did you always see Michael Jackson wearing two white gloves? because masturbation is against Michael Jackson's religious beliefs
Normal person:"I'm perfect" Goth person:"nobody is"
Why can't religion and science agree
Because science creates skyscrapers and religion combines with skyscrapers
Me and Jesus are really close he even turns the light on for me when i go pee in the middle of the, well that is what i thought until the fridge was wet.
I’m not religious, but you’re the answer to all of my prayers.
How do flat-earthers travel? On a plane.
Adam and Eve are wondering wether they are black or white. Eve says why dont you go and ask god. So Adam goes into the garden of eden and shouts out to god are we black or white? A big booming voice bellows out YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE. He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. How do you know asks Eve. Because he said you are what you are Adam replied. Why does that mean we are white? asked Eve. Because if we were black he would have said You is what you is.
When a Muslim dies he gets 72 virgins. It's the same thing with priests except the virgins are children.
Jesus shows up and says you’ve got to go to church. You follow him in and under their breath it sounds like somebody says you steal and you say in your mind knowing you have before I’m sorry then somebody caughs and under their breath it sounds like they say again you steal so you whisper quietly I’m sorry... ...then somebody in German says shoot that son of a bitch
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster. —Shane Richie, British actor
Belief in Egyptian gods is just Ra-ng (wrong).😁
"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."
People on 1912: This ship is unsinkable even god himself couldn’t destroy it God: Ok bet where’s my icebergs?
How do you know you’re at a gay church? Half the congregation in kneeling
