Belief jokes

Cannibal eats missionary, gets a taste for religion.

Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?

Because they're the ones who made the toys.

"Amen, "Amen," "Amen."

Hail Satan.

............

Oh, sorry. I forgot which religion I was pretending to respect.

Why did the orphan go to church?

Because they need a father.

Why do orphans love to go to church? Because they have someone to call father.

My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.

Religious mom: FINALLY!

Me: Grabs a noose.

Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?

Because they're the ones making the toys.

If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?

Why do nuns not wear bras?

God supports everything.

I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?

Whats the difference between NASA and religion

NASA takes you through space Religion takes you through two towers

Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa? Cause they make the toys.

Why do orphans like to go to church?

Because they actually have a father there.

What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?

"Coincidence on 34th Street."

God, I love telling children their parents love them, but only on April Fools'. They're orphans, after all.

Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Heaven.

Heaven who?

Heaven fun over there?

I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.

Heyo, my children, hope you haven't forgotten about our cult!

Why did the orphan go to church?

So they had someone to call Father.

I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.