Belief jokes
If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
Cannibal eats missionary, gets a taste for religion.
Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they're the ones who made the toys.
"Amen, "Amen," "Amen."
Hail Satan.
............
Oh, sorry. I forgot which religion I was pretending to respect.
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
Memes
He is cominggggg!
Why did the orphan go to church?
Because they need a father.
Why do orphans love to go to church? Because they have someone to call father.
Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?
Because they're the ones making the toys.
I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?
Why do nuns not wear bras?
God supports everything.
Whats the difference between NASA and religion
NASA takes you through space Religion takes you through two towers
Why do orphans like to go to church?
Because they actually have a father there.
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa? Cause they make the toys.
What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?
"Coincidence on 34th Street."
God, I love telling children their parents love them, but only on April Fools'. They're orphans, after all.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Heaven.
Heaven who?
Heaven fun over there?
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys.
Thank you, Jesus, for creating holy water!
Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?
He didn't give me any.
I was made by the Devil.
Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?
Because she was straight into Jesus.
I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?