Belief jokes

Me: Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?

Friend: Sure.

Me: Why don't churches have WiFi?

Friend: Why?

Me: They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.

I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.

Jesus, that's sick.

You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?

I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.

If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.

Why do orphans like the number seven? It's lucky, so maybe their parents will come back.

Stephen Hawking said God isn’t real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. 😂😂😂

God is good. God is great.

Why do priests dunk babies in water at their baptism? Because it's important to wash your sex toys.

You are family.

When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked: "Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work?"

What's the difference between MetaCareForAll and the resurrection of our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

One of them is an unrealistic fantasy that can never come true because it wouldn't work. The other one is the resurrection our lord and savior Jesus Christ.

Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.

Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?

Because she was straight into Jesus.

I used to have an imaginary friend who I could talk to, and he could grant me wishes and stuff... and then I stopped going to church.

My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...

The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"

Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?

They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.

My name is Jamar and I come from afar, ALLAHU AKBAR!

There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did, and the ended up liking each other and getting married and living happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy actually snuck in Rayne's house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.

I love going to church to get closer to God, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis.