Belief Jokes

Normal person:"I'm perfect" Goth person:"nobody is"

Me and Jesus are really close he even turns the light on for me when i go pee in the middle of the, well that is what i thought until the fridge was wet.

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself and his friend says "Find jesus instead he'll help you!" and than the man says "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist".

When a Muslim dies he gets 72 virgins. It's the same thing with priests except the virgins are children.

I’m not religious, but you’re the answer to all of my prayers.

Stephen Hawking said there is no god. God said there is no Stephen Hawking

Religion... That is all

why are people mad at me? all i did was the truth, and put the bible in the fiction section of the library.

"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."

People on 1912: This ship is unsinkable even god himself couldn’t destroy it God: Ok bet where’s my icebergs?

I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster. —Shane Richie, British actor

Belief in Egyptian gods is just Ra-ng (wrong).😁

There is no god. None not one.

Science flew us to the moon. Religion flew us into two skyscrapers.

Bible Verse of The Day-For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. —Romans 8:15-16

Where has God existed outside of a man's awareness of him?

During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"

Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by god and made babies!

Dad, how were hoomans made. Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!

Mom, dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)

So a mom went to her kid and said "If you pray to god, he will give you your sight back" so he did exactly that The next morning the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kids room and asked "whats wrong" the kid replied it didn't work" The mom said "April Fools"