Belief jokes

Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?

He didn't give me any.

I was made by the Devil.

What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?

God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.

I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.

Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?

Because she was straight into Jesus.

Why did the orphan go to church?

So they had someone to call Father.

What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?

A holy cow!

Why do orphans pray to God?

So they have someone to call father.

Guys, say "I love gape horn" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.

I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.

Heyo, my children, hope you haven't forgotten about our cult!

Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.

I used to believe everything in the Bible until I read about the Jew giving out the free fish.

Jokes are like Indians.

They never die, they just get reincarnated.

Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?

She said a monster attacked her.

How does a priest purify water?

Boil the hell out of it!

What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?

They believe their own lies.

At first I was skeptical, but the universe has really grown on me.

They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.

Satan and the devil are alter egos.

Not all roses are red; Not all violets are blue; If you're reading this, God loves you.