Belief jokes

I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.

You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys.

Thank you, Jesus, for creating holy water!

Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?

Because she was straight into Jesus.

I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?

How do you anger a white Christian nationalist?

Tell him the truth.

I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.

Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.

Heyo, my children, hope you haven't forgotten about our cult!

Why did the orphan go to church?

So they had someone to call Father.

My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.

Why do orphans pray to God?

So they have someone to call father.

What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?

A holy cow!

Guys, say "I love gape horn" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.

Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?

She said a monster attacked her.

How does a priest purify water?

Boil the hell out of it!

What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?

They believe their own lies.

At first I was skeptical, but the universe has really grown on me.

The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"

They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.

Satan and the devil are alter egos.