What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?
God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.
Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?
He didn't give me any.
I was made by the Devil.
Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?
Because she was straight into Jesus.
I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?
I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
Heyo, my children, hope you haven't forgotten about our cult!
Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So they had someone to call Father.
Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?
She said a monster attacked her.
Why did a woman believe she was a target? She had a price tag without any value to it.
At first I was skeptical, but the universe has really grown on me.
What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?
They believe their own lies.
What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?
"Coincidence on 34th Street."
Satan and the devil are alter egos.
They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.
Do you know why Jesus is so popular with the ladies??
Haven't you ever seen pictures of the guy? He was hung like this... 🤚--------🤪----------✋
Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
Because they don't believe in higher powers.
Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.
One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"
The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"
His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"
