Belief jokes
Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?
He didn't give me any.
I was made by the Devil.
Wanna hear a joke?
Jesus being real.
Maybe Leo actually isn’t stupid... maybe she just has bad luck with thinking!
Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.
Kat, what? I did. A cat jump over the road because he believes he came flying in the clouds. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah! So funniest kitten kitten kitten kidding is my last time of Do you Joooooooooooooooooooooookin?
If a Muslim loses his Faith... Does he throw in the Towel?
I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."
How do you make holy water?
You take normal water and boil the hell out of it.
Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they're the ones who made the toys.
Believe in unicorns, and they'll believe in you!
What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?
Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.
Why is Christianity the most dramatic religion?
Because other religions say, "Do, do, do."
But Christianity says, "Done, done, done!"
Ok, here's a story about the church.
There were two parents, then they had a baby. Then they go to the church and the baby was getting a cross on his forehead. Guess he was big headed. Sorry if this offends anyone or makes this joke bad since I keep writing this.
I only believe in 12.5% of the bible. I'm an EIGTHeyist.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
Because they can finally call someone "father!"
God's consciousness: Art.
God's unconsciousness: Christianity.
If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.
What kind of jeans do you wear to church?
Holy jeans!
Once my friend was saying something dumb, and I was like, "I Campbell-eve you just said that."