Belief jokes

I would curse at you, but my country praises cows.

God said, “Let there be light,” so it beamed off your forehead, and so I turned into Stevie Wonder and called it night.

If you believe in Allah, you will go straight to heaven, Mashallah! 😍

I'm just happy no idiots are calling these people fat-phobic.

How do you make holy water?

You take it to church ⛪️

Ever looked at a cemetery and thought, wow, Heaven and Hell must be crowded?

Jesus has a twisted humor.

kittens cute cuddly and loveable oh yeah, I almost forgot, add razors that stick out [of] their feet.

What's the difference between MetaCareForAll and the resurrection of our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

One of them is an unrealistic fantasy that can never come true because it wouldn't work. The other one is the resurrection our lord and savior Jesus Christ.

So two guys walk into a bar. One says, "Can I have something to drink?"

The other says, "You wish!" LOLOLOLOLOLOLO dab on the haters - Jake Paul wreeeeecckkked.................... DABDABDABDBABABDBABDBABDBABDBDABDBsabBaDBAD,,,,,,,,,,five fo e the winners. KILL MATPAT, THE EARTH IS FLAT AND A DONUT

Jesus Christ does exist, he does, and he is the son of God... a God that doesn't exist XD

Jesus got rejected. A few years later, he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even Jesus is not a fucking cunt.

God, aka Mr. Universe said he was God's gift to this earth, but where is he?

"Cheesus" hates me, yeah, I know, 'cause he's a real douchelord fictional character.

What do orphans go to church for?

So they can call someone "father."

When God make white people he said, "FUCK I'M OUT OF PAINT!"

If I tell you, "Jesus is the trickster," am I, or is he?

What if death is hell because there is no bridge to heaven?

How do you stop a school shooter from killing you?

Tell him you don’t believe in dog.

Q: Why doesn’t Jimmy Swaggart worry about his premature ejaculation problem?

A: He believes in the second cumming.

A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"

And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"