Belief jokes

What is God’s favorite candy?

Jesus Pieces.

Why can't orphans convert to Catholicism?

Because Catholics believe in no sex before marriage.

Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...

If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.

Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P

"Pray to God her inside her head. I'm scared of God."

Maybe Leo actually isn’t stupid... maybe she just has bad luck with thinking!

I once put the Bible in the fiction section.

Why do orphans like going to church?

They can actually call someone "father."

God is good. God is great.

I used to have an imaginary friend who I could talk to, and he could grant me wishes and stuff... and then I stopped going to church.

The holy water in this church is of the highest quality: it has been assed by the bishop.

Do y'all love God?

Religion

If you have an Autistic child, don't worry. Put your trust in God and pray it gets kidnapped.

Science gets you to the moon.

Religion flies you into buildings.

Science flies you to the moon, while religion flies you into two towers.

Did you fall from Heaven? Because so did Satan.

Me: Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?

Friend: Sure.

Me: Why don't churches have WiFi?

Friend: Why?

Me: They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.

Why did the sun go to church?

Because it needs Jesus.

God.