Belief jokes
Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.
Do you know why Jesus is so popular with the ladies??
Haven't you ever seen pictures of the guy? He was hung like this... 🤚--------🤪----------✋
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it!
When you want to commit suicide, just say "Allahu Akbar," there will definitely be a blast.
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.
The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"
And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.
A true God would be godless himself.
You call it death. I call it peace and quiet.
I only believe in 12.5% of the bible. I'm an EIGTHeyist.
Who are you to believe if you don't believe in unicorns?
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into 2 skyscrapers.
How did Jesus kill himself?
He fell from his bike.
How many times did he die?
Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in Heaven.
What is meals on wheels to a Christian nationalist that is also a conservative Republican politician, a gay man in a wheelchair that is poor and also physically handicapped, and who is also well-endowed?
Hi guys, I have a brain teaser for you! Leave it in the comment section if you figure it out. Here you go!
If you kill yourself (suicide which is technically murder), will you go to Heaven or Hell? Because you murdered yourself, but what if you were a Christian?
That was my brain teaser for you guys! Make sure you leave what you came up with for the answer in the comment section below!! PEACE OUT!!!! :)
I would curse at you, but my country praises cows.
I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."
Jesus told the world if he had to pick a body all over again that he would pick himself! He believes he is (God's gift to this earth) the best looking, the smartest, pure perfection!
Hahaha LOL Jajaj.
And I Quote! "THAT'S WHY I PUT MYSELF NAKED ON THE CROSS IN CHURCHES TO SEE MY BODY !!!!"
GROSSEST, SCAREST, UGLIST, SLOPPY, DISRESPECTFUL, DISGUSTING, IT.
If he actually ate the bullshit that came out of his mouth, He wouldn't have made up satan! He wouldn't Rape us, He wouldn't embody us! He wouldn't try to be us! USING OUF VOICES! USING OUR SPIRIT!
Religion... That is all.
So, a man goes to church and is dipped in water three times by a Priest as he says, "From now on your name is Michael, and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol."
Soon after, the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips the beer can in the water three times while saying, "From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol."
Science gets you to the moon.
Religion flies you into buildings.