Belief jokes
It took Jesus 3 days to respond.
Worst lag ever!
What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.
Why can't orphans convert to Catholicism?
Because Catholics believe in no sex before marriage.
Chuck Norris met God once. Now God is the puny human.
I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.
Your mama is so fat, even God couldn't raise her spirit.
What did Satin say to God??
"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into 2 skyscrapers.
Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
Because they don't believe in higher powers.
Guys, say "I love gape horn" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.
I heard a motivational quote saying faith can move mountains, but faith cannot move your receding hairline.
Yo momma so ugly, the Devil started going to church!
Why do orphans go to church?
It’s the only place they can call someone “father.”
God, I love telling children their parents love them, but only on April Fools'. They're orphans, after all.
If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?
HELP! I MIGHT BE A RELIGIOUS EXTREMIST BECAUSE MY RHYMES ARE DA BOMB.
God = what I hope to be.
Devil = what I can't accept.
I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.
We have life. I hope we have life. We have God in Jesus Christ. This is a good thing. It is a song part.
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!
The only thing flat earthers have to fear...
... is a sphere itself.