Belief

Belief jokes

COVID-19

The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

God

Why is the elephant headed God the true God?

Because he doesn't exist!

Soul

In fright, I saw my faceless soul! Never imagined it could run that fast!

God

In 2011, Stephen Hawking said God didn’t exist.

In 2018, God said Stephen Hawking didn’t exist. xx 😂😂

Nun

A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"

God

We have life. I hope we have life. We have God in Jesus Christ. This is a good thing. It is a song part.

Religion

Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?

Computers don’t really have a specific religion.

Confession

I have a confession. I used to be a Christian.

Don’t bother me none, babe!

Awesome! I much prefer being a Christine!

“Hol up”

Game

Me playing a game...

What did God just stop? Are hearts cause we didn't kill each other.

Like if that was good.

God

What's the difference between my imaginary friend and God?

None.

They're both imaginary.

Puppet

There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did, and the ended up liking each other and getting married and living happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy actually snuck in Rayne's house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.

Relationship

The only problem being short and gay is that whenever I try to tell people I'm top in my relationship, they don't believe me because I'm shorter than the person I'm dating, like, WTF?

Grandma

My grandma always told my dad if a bird ever got in your house/truck, someone would die later that exact day.

She found out she had cancer. 11 months later, my grandpa died of a stroke. I hope to see them in heaven. I’d like to meet them. Pls comment good things. I really, really love them, even though I didn’t get to meet them. 😭😭😭

Orphan

Why can't orphans convert to Catholicism?

Because Catholics believe in no sex before marriage.