Belief jokes

You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."

Why do orphans come to me?

'Cause they have someone to call "father."

Orphan: I finally have a father!

God: And who is that?

Orphan: You!

God: Who the hell is you? Well, it's not me.

Orphan: :l

Why is the elephant headed God the true God?

Because he doesn't exist!

In fright, I saw my faceless soul! Never imagined it could run that fast!

In 2011, Stephen Hawking said God didn’t exist.

In 2018, God said Stephen Hawking didn’t exist. xx 😂😂

I think that church is super burning 🥵.

HELP! I MIGHT BE A RELIGIOUS EXTREMIST BECAUSE MY RHYMES ARE DA BOMB.

Yo mama so fat, flat earthers say she's round.

How do you confuse a ginger?

Throw a cross at them.

Why do Indians marry cows? Because they bathe in milk.

We have life. I hope we have life. We have God in Jesus Christ. This is a good thing. It is a song part.

Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?

Computers don’t really have a specific religion.

I have a confession. I used to be a Christian.

Don’t bother me none, babe!

Awesome! I much prefer being a Christine!

“Hol up”

Me playing a game...

What did God just stop? Are hearts cause we didn't kill each other.

Like if that was good.

What's the difference between my imaginary friend and God?

None.

They're both imaginary.

There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did, and the ended up liking each other and getting married and living happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy actually snuck in Rayne's house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.

The only problem being short and gay is that whenever I try to tell people I'm top in my relationship, they don't believe me because I'm shorter than the person I'm dating, like, WTF?

My grandma always told my dad if a bird ever got in your house/truck, someone would die later that exact day.

She found out she had cancer. 11 months later, my grandpa died of a stroke. I hope to see them in heaven. I’d like to meet them. Pls comment good things. I really, really love them, even though I didn’t get to meet them. 😭😭😭

Jesus walked, so Mohammad can fly.