Being jokes

A bus full of nuns falls off a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them, “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all through the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question.”

St. Peter turns to the first nun in the line and asks her, “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister responds, “Well... there was this one time... that I kinda sorta... touched one with the tip of my pinky finger...” St. Peter says, “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so.

St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says, “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well.... There was this one time... that I held one for a moment...” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so.

Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun, “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds, “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!”

Hardest part about being a paedophile?

Fitting in.

Why did the students eat their homework?

Because the teacher said it would be a piece of cake! 🎂😂

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.

Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.

A list of Sans puns would be Sans-tastic!

Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.

I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.

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Thank you, -Connor

Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"

Because he would have beef with Homelander.

Don't be emo, be happy, Nemo!

I am crying tears of joy rn.😭 I was wrongfully denied my visa. ☠️ They took me to the Q&A section, that I needed to answer one simple question for my visa to be granted.

The question was the original synonym of Bench. I shakily answered "Pristiano Penaldo" 😭. I was right guys ✅🛫

What's the worst thing to happen to a Japanese person in WW2... being drafted as a kamikaze pilot, or existing with a Fat Man or Little Boy?

My brother apparently has this thing called "asthma". Anyway, I took his vape away today, and he was lying on the floor gasping for air, lol. He must really be addicted to it.

Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.

What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?

There used to be two, now it’s a sensitive subject.

You could think that some orphans are gay.

But think, would they be home-osexual? 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.

Wait, actually.

I wish I was a toe because I want to be banged all day.