Being jokes
"Maga be like Antifa invaded Ukraine, but I thought Antifa was Russia, you dumb Maga chuds!"
Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.
You used to be someone’s sunshine, but sorry, the climate changed. 😂😂😂😂
Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.
Why did the basketball player not get on the bus?
Because he couldn’t be caught travelling! 😂
Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.
The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.
Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled." Kili: "That’s a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"
Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.
I was boiling some water and said, "Water, you will be mist!"
You know, their family dinners must be so happy.
Why is an orphan into worshiping Satan?
'Cause they get to call someone "master" and be freaky.
Why am I naughty?
Because I want to be....
What's one similarity between the twin towers and gender?
There used to be 2, and now it's a sensitive subject.
Corona be like:
Eliminating half the population of boomers faster than Thanos.
*snap*
Bully: Gina, why are you such a whore?
Gina: Because they hit me on the ass!
Bully: Yuh, that must be nice!
Gina: Hmmm...
Gina: Wanna???
Bully: 😍😍😍...sexy ass ever!
Bully 🖐🏻🍑
Gina😊
In the morning, I become a cereal killer. Stepped on a corn flake.
Then there was the run-in with a pair of orphaned Rice Krispies. Snap. Crackle. No pop.
I've been taken into custody as a cereal offender and am about to be put on trial in Food Court. I fully expect them to sentence me to Life.
Don’t be racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.
What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?
"It won't be long now..."
My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.
How's George Floyd doing these days? Being drug-free for a year, he must be feeling pretty swell.
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.