Being jokes

Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?

Because then they would be called bagels! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?

A Sandy Hooker

As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )

Could a parking garage also be called a broom closet?

"Doctor, I'm shrinking!"

"Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."

What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?

They wait to be filled with a big load.

The Good Old Days.

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

What do orphans be on Halloween?

They be themselves.

Why can't an orphan be gay?

They have no one to call daddy.

Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.

Why do shepherds never learn to count?

Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.

Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."

Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"

What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?

"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"

"I think my draco might be gay. Why? 'Cause he blow niggas."

Nardo Wick

What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby, be mine.

Being alive is so expensive, I am not even having a good time doing it.

Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?

I would tell you a recycling joke.

But I’m afraid it’d just be reused over and over.

A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.