Being jokes

I took out my mother-in-law, being a sniper, I'd fun.

Being mean.

Being gay must be a pain in the ass.

Credit to omnom.

How to protect your nuts from being hit: Just get hard.

Guys, don’t suck your own dick, it does not feel like your dick is being sucked, it feels like you're sucking a dick.

Lucifer is caged by Jesus, cuz he got tired of being alone on a pedestal.

"Being broke is a disease, stay the fuck away from me."

Hey Alya and JK Master, how are you guys doing? No one being an ass to you guys today, right? If so, I'll beat them up :)

Girls being 14, look 18, act 21.

Boys 21, look 18 and act 14.

Does anyone ever get tired of being random? Me neither.

There’s this girl who gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.

Why don’t she stand up for herself?

This joke is so dark, I need life.

Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?

Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.

There's a truck full of babies. What's worse than that? One baby being alive. What's worse than that? That baby having to eat its way out. What's worse than that? That same baby coming back from seconds.

Mom: I apologize, Sam, for being so mean to you. <3

Sam: Thank you, Mother, for your apology.

Mom: jk

My cousin is a surgeon.

Last year he botched a surgery he was doing on a patient who happened to be gay. He's being sued for malpractice for turning a fruit into a vegetable.

How's George Floyd doing these days? Being drug-free for a year, he must be feeling pretty swell.

Two muffins are sitting in a bar.

The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."

The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.

You look tall for being a yellow dwarf. You are 432,450 miles tall!

I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.

I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.

What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.