Being jokes
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.
Being alive is so expensive, I am not even having a good time doing it.
"I think my draco might be gay. Why? 'Cause he blow niggas."
Nardo Wick
Q: Do you know why orphans rob banks?
A: Because it's a guarantee they'll be wanted afterwards.
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
For Da Boys
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
What do orphans be on Halloween?
They be themselves.
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
Could a parking garage also be called a broom closet?
"Doctor, I'm shrinking!"
"Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )
Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?
I would tell you a recycling joke.
But I’m afraid it’d just be reused over and over.
Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.
What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?
They wait to be filled with a big load.
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Just hire some people to be fake parents and print off an adoption paper. On April Fools', just leave them there at the orphanage! APRIL FOOLS!
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."