Behavior jokes

Why did the stoner cross the road?

He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.

Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What makes a cult and a racist family of 5 common?

Not all are friends.

Why was the emo kicked out of the circus?

Because he was cutting in line!

Look, an orphan, let's go beat 'em up.

I got caught peeing in the pool.

The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in!

Vegetarian: I prefer plants.

Herbivore: I just like food.

Cannibal: I'm a people person.

What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?

Nothing, he just started wanking.

I put the fun in dysfunctional.

Why do women always have sex with the lights off?

Because they never like to see a man having a good time.

A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day.”

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie?” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s b*tch.”

One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.

Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.

Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."

Stop copying each other, fucking losers!

What the fuck is wrong with people?

Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion?

Because she knew the lion was always lion.

Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.

Sadly, he didn't see it coming.

I tried to pull (his/her) leg at the comedy club, but got arrested for sexual harassment. Does that still count as a joke? 🤣

You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.

I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.

As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?