Behavior jokes

I got caught peeing in the pool.

The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in!

Look, an orphan, let's go beat 'em up.

Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Vegetarian: I prefer plants.

Herbivore: I just like food.

Cannibal: I'm a people person.

Why do women always have sex with the lights off?

Because they never like to see a man having a good time.

Why did the stoner cross the road?

He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.

What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?

Nothing, he just started wanking.

I put the fun in dysfunctional.

Right, I have a dog and his name is Syndrome, and whenever he is good, I go "Good Syndrome," but whenever he is naughty, I go "Down Syndrome."

A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day.”

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie?” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s b*tch.”

One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.

Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.

Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."

What the fuck is wrong with people?

Stop copying each other, fucking losers!

Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.

Sadly, he didn't see it coming.

Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion?

Because she knew the lion was always lion.

I tried to pull (his/her) leg at the comedy club, but got arrested for sexual harassment. Does that still count as a joke? 🤣

You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.

As a fellow emo, I find these very rude and disrespectful. Please take off, or I'll tell Mom.

Also, if anyone knows any high bridges nearby, please tell me (I'm asking for a friend).

P.S. I have no friends.

Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.