Behavior jokes
I burned an orphan's hand and then they said, "You will pay for this."
Me: "What are you going to do? Tell your parents?"
What's black and white and red all over?
The darkness of your heart, the dishonor of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"
-not my joke
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!
Yesterday I wanted to look up the term "procrastination".
I swear, I'll do it tomorrow.
What do gum and guns have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend all of a sudden.
Tell me orphan jokes are a really bad joke. People are really orphans, and there is a lot of 'em, and they are all depressed. Who would make fun of depressed people? Well, those dumbass evil people!!
There once was a man that wanted to join a group of right-handed men, but he wrote with the other hand. He got left behind.
Just shut up!
What is the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
A mosquito stops sucking after you f*cking slap it.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get away from this conversation?
Why do lions always lose at poker?
Because they always play against cheetahs.
Your dad is so stupid that when he jumped the fence, the gate was open.
When someone keeps talking while you are trying to focus on something, what is the rudest thing you can say to them?
SHUT UP!!!
Man: *behind the women* She's so ugly!
Woman: My back is not a voicemail, unless you're a coward and can only say it behind my back to my face.
You should watch Ryan ToysReview because he's not mean; he's a very nice boy.
Your mom walked into another bar and broke all the furniture. Again.