Behavior jokes

If you’re ever bored, then go outside and punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell, their parents?

💔 The Broken Family 💔 . Part 1

Girl: Mom, dad tried to have sex with me last night.

Mom: Are you serious?? (Shocked)

Girl: Yah. He said I must kiss him after he didn't want to let me go.

Mom: Am gonna kill ur dad (Angry)

Girl: Please mom, we still need him, who will buy use food and clothes. You don't have a job mom.

Mom: But what he did was wrong.

Girl: I know.

(SOUND OF A CAR COMING IN)

Mom: Is that ur dad.

Girl: Yes Mom

Comment Part 2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

On a bus, a priest sat next to a drunk who was struggling to read a newspaper.

Suddenly, with a slurred voice, the drunk asked the priest:

"Do you know what arthritis is?"

The parish priest soon thought of taking the opportunity to lecture the drunk and replied:

"It's a disease caused by sinful and unruly life: excess, consumption of alcohol, drugs, marijuana, crack, and certainly lost women, prostitutes, promiscuity, sex, binges, and other things I dare not say."

The drunk widened his eyes, shut up, and continued reading the newspaper.

A little later the priest, thinking that he had been too hard on the drunk, tried to soften:

"How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have arthritis! It says here in the paper that the Pope has it."

What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?

Spoiled milk.

I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.

Why do orphans become bullies?

Because their mum and dad were never there for them.

After I see an anime boy acting cool,

Me at school acting cool:

My brothers: "He's just acting cool."

Me: I'm gonna kill u 0.0

One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.

He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.

So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"

How do you end an argument with an emo? Kick the chair.

There's two types of emo people:

1. People that cut side to side.

2. And people that cut up and down.

The most efficient is up and down.

Women be like chivalry is dead, then don't say thank you when you open the door for them.

My mom's name is Angel, and she is nothing like one!

Especially in bed...

I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.

I just cut everyone.

I'm really bored and I don't know what's up with Prince. He isn't talking to me.

And Freshfry, why are you so mean now?

When someone says don't talk back to me, say, "I wasn't aware that answering a question was considered talking back."

Why did the cat meow?

Because it's a cat, and they meow.

What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.

When the phone is ringing, Dad says, "If it's for me, don't answer it."

Daniel takes his frustrations out on Shaenaya and his sexual frustrations out on Arunima.