Behavior jokes

There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.

One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.

Little Mickel was on a tree.

He fell down and hurt his knee.

He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.

What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.

I'm too lazy to read gags. http://gestyy.com/eiDOWp

Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!

Family all eating at the table.

Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."

Sister: "Stop the cap."

Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."

Dad laughed.

Stepmom storms out of the room.

I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...

Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...

I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...

When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.

Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?

What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?

Stop horsing around!

One day, I was walking down the street, and then I saw something really funny, and then I ran, and I saw a boomer, but I don't really know what I'm talking about, lol.

Why are all fat people bad drivers?

They are all hungover.

Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.

Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?

What's the difference between crazy people and regular people?

We don't live in their heads.

Why can’t you trust an emo kid?

'Cause they always leave you hanging.

What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?

Getting them to come out of their shell.

You are annoying lolllllllll.

I sit because I can't stand you.

A teacher says to her class one day, "Whoever answers my next question can go home."

A boy throws his bag out the window.

The teacher asks, "Who just threw that?"

The boy says, "Me! I’m going home now."

Why aren't dogs good at dancing? Cuz they have 2 left feet!