Behavior jokes
I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️.
A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say.
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.
Ok guys, I think we should stop being mean. That will tell their grandparents.
How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
Bully: *Bullies kid*
Orphan: Stop!! *Cries*
Bully: What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?? XD
Orphan: :/
What makes emos jump?
Bridges.
Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!
You can get into a fight with an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What’s the difference between a bird and a human?
“We don’t eat with our peckers.”
Yo mama is so lazy that the only letters she knows are "NO".
Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can.
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.
Why don’t you act like your hairline and kindly take several steps back?
What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?
Stop horsing around!
You don't usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days.
But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: "Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!"
Why do horses eat with their mouth open?
Because they have bad stable manners.
Okay, who the heck is watersharky? He just tries to "help" people, and he just posts stupid songs because he acts like he is depressed.