Behavior jokes
You should watch Ryan ToysReview because he's not mean; he's a very nice boy.
I wanted to see if she was anorexic, so I threw a Funyun at her to see if she'd use it as a hula hoop or inhale it.
What do you call a smart booty?
A wise-crack!
Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?
If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.
"You have your entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off?"
I met an orphan with a dog yesterday. I chose the dog.
What do you call emo girls?
Cutting boards.
People's music when friends are around: *rock*
When they are gone: "Come on, vamanos, everybody let's go!"
Yo mama is so strict that in The Outsiders, she was Darry.
So I was playing on my phone, and my mom said to go and take the trash out, so I pick up my sister and threw her in the garbage bin and said, "Mom told me to." And when I came back in, my mom said not to do that ever again, but then I told her that she says not to lie, so I was doing the right thing. 👍
Fuck all y'all hoes!
They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.
You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!
what do sloths and depressed people have in common? ... they both hang from trees.
I got told I'm too mean and that I need to think before I speak. So now I take a couple minutes and think of what will REALLY piss the other person off.
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it.
Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.
Bully 2: Look in a mirror.
Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!