Beat jokes
Roses are red, Violets are blue, With every beat of my heart, I'm devoted to you.
Why did the drum go to bed? It was beat.
Hey guys, wish me luck on my game Al-Nassr vs. Raed Al-Raed. I have 604 million followers on Instagram, but we are not gonna be able to beat that. Can we get to 69 followers, please and thankyou?
My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?
Q: What did the Jewish person say when he beat me in a race?
A: Eat my dust.
Once I went to watch a match in Portugal. It was between Penaldo and his kids. The referee was Georgiana (his wife). Mpaypal and Igayspeed were also there. The match began, and his kids scored two goals in the first 10 minutes. Then, when the match was about to end, Penaldo got angry and asked his wife for penalties. His wife declined, and he tortured and beat her up and took 10 penalties (missed 7 of them) but won 3-2. Shame on you, Penaldo! 😡😡😡
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.
How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?
Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.
khi beats his meat to weed- germiah.
Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."
Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...
"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"
I suppose that was a fair compromise!
God, you’re having a good day?
Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I saw your mom beat you.
We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:
1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.
2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.
3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).
You're so emo, even Billie Eilish can't beat you!
What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?
My stepdad did beat cancer.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I’m sorry you look like my old beat up shoe.
Jack and Jill went up the hill.
Jack fell down, his ass was bound, and Jill continued up the hill.
Jack came back and beat Jill's back, and he got the ultimate kill.
Damn, that beat dropped harder than my grandma falling down the stairs.
How do you beat Hellen Keller in musical chairs?
You move the chairs.