Beat jokes
Just remembering the day when the Jets beat the New York Giants.
Why do priests play Geometry Dash? Cuz they can beat Demons.
Police: Where do you live? Child: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live? Child: With me.
Police: Where do you all live? Child: Together.
Police: Where is your house? Child: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Child: If I tell you, would you believe me?
Police: Yes. Now tell me. Child: Next to my house.
Police: ... Child: 😊
Police: *Proceeds to beat the life out of the child*
You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap, no feet, 9 arms, 17 stomachs. You stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat. NBA Youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek.
Me: *stabs vampire*
Wife: omg
Me: *beats vampire to death*
Wife: OMG
Me: What?
Wife: You're supposed to give them candy!
Me: Well, that's a sticky situation now, isn't it, Barbara?
I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀
"Pootin is a pussy won't even fight in the war that he started!"
"Pootin is a pussy and Ukraine is beating Russia's ass!"
Mom, what happens if you swear at a church?
Well, honey, a tee posing nun with glowing red eyes and nunchucks will beat you.
What's the difference between a dog and a foster child?
A dog doesn't run to the police after you beat it.
My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.
If you are a bully at a school, when you get home, find an orphan and beat them up!
What are they going to do? Tell the orphan lady to tell you to stop? 😆😝
What's a child abuser's favorite song?
"Just Beat It!"
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.
What did Michael Jackson say to the child sitting on him?
“Just beat it! Just beat it!”
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?
I beat both of them.
I beat up my twin friends with a plane.
Why does Aaron chug beer on a Wednesday?
Because his dad beats him every single day because he has scoliosis.
I want some cheeseburgers just to eat. I'm talkin' ketchup. My n***a mustard on that BEAT!
Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.
Do you know what it takes to beat cancer?
Heartbeat.