Band jokes
Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."
What鈥檚 the name of the band in the gay bar?
A: Beers for Queers.
Q. What makes music on your hair?
A. A headband!
Yo Mamma's so ugly, she made One Direction turn into the other direction!
Jerry Garcia: I鈥檓 going on a TRIP today!
Bob Weir: Where are you going?
Jerry Garcia: I鈥檓 already on it. 馃槸馃馃寛
I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"
And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"
When someone tells me to kill myself,
Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time.
These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.
What is a Mexican鈥檚 favorite band?
Twenty Juan Pilots.
People's music when friends are around: *rock*
When they are gone: "Come on, vamanos, everybody let's go!"
What's an emo's favorite Pink Floyd album?
The Final Cut.
I love Little Mix.
Why did the dog join the marching band?
Because he had his trum-bone.
What鈥檚 the difference between me and Chester Bennington?
I know how to use an exercise band.
What rock has four men that don't sing?
One Direction.
Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
A: He gave her a ring.
Q: What鈥檚 the most popular video game at the bread bakery?
A: Knead for Speed.
Q: Why is Santa good at karate?
A: He has a black belt.
Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?
A: Beast Buy.
Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?
A: Let鈥檚 stick together.
Q: Why did the turkey join a band?
A: So he could use his drumsticks.
Q: What鈥檚 a math teacher鈥檚 favorite winter sport?
A: Figure skating.
Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?
A: Beast Buy.
Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?
A: Let鈥檚 stick together.
Q: Why did the turkey join a band?
A: So he could use his drumsticks.
Q: What鈥檚 a math teacher鈥檚 favorite winter sport?
A: Figure skating.
Q: What鈥檚 a firefly鈥檚 favorite dance?
A: The glitterbug.
Q: Why are eyeshadow, lipstick, and mascara never mad at each other?
A: Because they always make-up.
Q: Where do roses sleep at night?
A: In their flowerbed.
Q: Why was the shoe bad at gymnastics?
A: She was a flip-flop.
Q: What should you wear to a tea party?
A: A t-shirt.
Q: What鈥檚 rain鈥檚 favorite accessory?
A: A rainbow.
Q: Where does a sink go dancing?
A: The Dish-co.
Q: What鈥檚 a princess鈥檚 favorite time?
A: Knight time.
Q: Why did the Genie get mad?
A: Because he was rubbed the wrong way.
Q: What鈥檚 a ballerina鈥檚 favorite type of bread?
A: A bun.
Q: What kind of dance was the frog prince best at?
A: Hip hop.
Q: What do bunnies like to do at the mall?
A: Shop 鈥榯il they hop.
Q: How did the beauty school student do on her manicure test?
A: She nailed it.
Q: What is corn鈥檚 favorite music?
A: Pop.
Q: Why can鈥檛 Monday lift Saturday?
A: It鈥檚 a weak day.
Q: Why was the politician out of breath?
A: He was running for office.
Q: What is a soccer player鈥檚 favorite chemical element?
A: Goooooooooooold!
Q: Why did the fastest cat in class get kicked out of school?
A: He was a cheetah.
Q: Which state has the greatest number of jokes?
A: Pennsylvania.
Q: Where is the best place to sit when a submarine is diving?
A: Inside.
Q: Why did the lawyer show up in court in his underwear?
A: He forgot his lawsuit.
Q: Why was the teenager no longer allowed online without a license?
A: He crashed the computer.
Q: What鈥檚 a ball that you don鈥檛 throw, shoot, eat, spit, bounce, or catch?
A: An eyeball.
Q: What do turtles, eggs, and beaches all have?
A: Shells.
Q: What time of year do people get injured the most?
A: In the fall.
Q: Why did the quarterback take the hardest classes?
A: Because he knew he would pass.
Q: Why did the musician throw away her table?
A: Because it was flat.
Q: Why didn鈥檛 the farmer's son study medicine?
A: Because he wanted to go into a different field.
Q: What is the math teacher鈥檚 favorite dessert?
A: Pi.
Q: Why was the princess in the emergency room?
Two people are under the covers. The man says, "Quote the Beatles: Come together!"
What do you use to strap an eagle's nest together?
An eagle-lastic band!
What is 14 inches long and starts with D?
A Dookie From GREEN DAY
How many degreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees does Billy Corgan have?
1979.