Baby

Baby jokes

Difference

What's the difference between dark humor and normal humor?

Normal humor is ten babies and one trash can.

Dark humor is one baby and ten trash cans.

Scroll down for explanation.

Ten babies in one trash can; one baby in ten means that the baby was chopped up.

Watermelon

How are babies and watermelons similar?

They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.

Memes

Sex

*having sex on lexapro*

Her: Cum for me, baby!

Me: I'm trying!

Cat

I walked up to a cat and started to sing a song. The cat said, "HECK NO!" then ran off. I follow it while still singing "BABY COME HOME TO ME!!"

Parent

What did the white baby say to his Chinese parents?

"Two wongs don’t make a white."

Corner

What sits in the corner and gets smaller and smaller? A baby with a potato peeler.

Song

I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.

Trampoline

What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off to jump on one.

Crib

What do you call a baby in the crib?

Boys and girls watch Monsters, Inc.

Kid

What do you call someone who kisses primary school kids?

Joshua Metcalfe