Baby jokes

What do you call one baby in ten trashcans?

Chopped Junior!

If olive oil is made of olives, then baby oil is made of...

Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment?

Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!

What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees.

How do you fit a baby in a glass?

A blender.

How do you get it out?

Explosives!

What's the difference between a baby and a mansion?

I've never seen the inside of a mansion.

I know a baby carrot when I see one.

My sister said I'm stupid and I'm a baby, and I said, "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about you."

Stop with the dead baby jokes. We're running out of babies.

A, B, C, E, F, G. You smell like a baby. Maybe you should not be "Hati-ey."

Would you rather eat a brick or a matter baby?

I watched the series of "Unfortunate Events" 4 times, all the shows 4 times. I am crying. I am trying to finish the rest, then my brother comes in and says it is PG (Parental Guidance). After that, my brother called me a baby, then he pushed me off my bed. 😭

What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?

There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.

1) Did you hear the one about the school shooting? Actually, I better not... You wouldn't understand, it's aimed more towards a younger audience.

2) 6 was scared cuz 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9/11.

3) 10 dead babies.

Why are cows 🐮 so big? To scare babies 👶.

Chase cheated on Charlie with Addison Rae.

Once Jimmy was minding his own business, then he hears his mom come home. He asked, "Where have you been?" She replied with, "I was at work," yet he knew his mom did not have work. So the next day, while heading to school, he gets a phone call saying his mom is pregnant, and they want to try their device, and they need the baby's dad to say if it's alright.

Son: Daddy?

Dad: Why tf do you keep calling me daddy? You're 11 years old, feminine gay hoe.

Son: Whoa!? Daddy, what's that?

Dad: Wtf are you talking about?

Son: Your dick has gotten more tastier?

Son: Ooh... I..... Just.... Wanna.... Sssuuc

Dad: Oh nope, I'm not having a gay hoe's fiend in my house, no quit looking at my dick, you need some pussy.

Son: eeeeeewwwwwwwwwww nooooo plz no plz

Dad: Shut the fuck up: ehr em

Mom: What the fugde is going on?

Dad: Our son's a gay bitch.

Mom: Language! So? I need to teach him how to like a girl huh?

Dad: Yes Ma'am, plz.

Mom: Okay. Herman, get your gay ass in my bed but naked, I'll be there in 10.

Son: wha whey huh ur gonna... wtf?!?!?!??

Mom: Quit cursing, I'm gonna fuck u extra hard!!

Son: Ewww, I'm gonna fuck my mom even though she is hot sexy but eeewwww.

Mom: Shut it!!!, or I'm gonna recordid and *fliped her hair taking off her panies (pussy naked)* and show this to ur gay fuck friends!

Son: Huh

Son: Mom FUCK U*

Mom: Okay baby I'm gonna fuck u in a minute lemme tak my bra off

Son: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH

Son: Moms are the worst, are they?

Me no there not sometimes but i love them teheheteheh

Ah, son of a bitch, I got the truth stuck on my shoe?!?!

The truth: Breast feeding is like having long sex with your baby. God dammit, I hate the truth!

What is the worst thing about licking a bald fanny?

Putting the nappy on afterwards.