Away jokes

I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.

Why couldn’t the orphan run away from home?

Because it didn’t have one.

I'm so poor I have to put my Big Mac burger on layaway.

You're so ugly that when your mama had you, she tried to give you away, but there was nowhere to give you.

GIVEAWAAAAAAY!!!

Okay, 19 dollar Fortnite card. Who wants it? And yes, I’m giving it away. Remember: Share, share, share! And trolls: Don’t get BLOCKED!

What do old people have when they are sick.

A going away party.

Fence 1 was thinking and Fence 2 said, "Are you still on the fence about running away?"

Fence 1 said, "Yeah, I was thinking of running on the RAILROAD."

My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"

You are so scary that even your hairline ran away.

How do we know Cinderella is a virgin?

Because she runs away from balls.

Short girl: "How do you see up there?"

Tall guy: "Who said that?"

I spit my drink out and then ran away.

Covid be like, "I'm going to take your breath away."

A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.

One day I went to smoke weed with some Mexicans, but they ran away when I asked if they had papers.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

He drove too far away from the power point/modem.

What’s the difference between women and condoms?

There isn’t a difference; they’re both throw aways.

"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."

I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.

Did you hear about the dyslexic wanna-be bank robber? He walked in and yelled, "HANDS UP, THIS IS A MOTHER STICKING F##K UP!" The lucky idiot got away because nobody could stop laughing!

If you see a woman get raped, just walk away. Don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all.

Little boy: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?

Little boy: Your parents.