Away jokes

What did the tomato say to the empty ketchup bottle? "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME!"

Why can orphans get away from the FBI?

Because they don't have a house.

I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.

A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.

Yo mama is so fat your dad could never get away.

You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.

*Titanic was sinking.*

Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?

Captain: Two miles.

Passenger: Which way are we going?

Captain: Down.

My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"

Short girl: "How do you see up there?"

Tall guy: "Who said that?"

I spit my drink out and then ran away.

One day I went to smoke weed with some Mexicans, but they ran away when I asked if they had papers.

A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

He drove too far away from the power point/modem.

Covid be like, "I'm going to take your breath away."

How do we know Cinderella is a virgin?

Because she runs away from balls.

You are so scary that even your hairline ran away.

What’s the difference between women and condoms?

There isn’t a difference; they’re both throw aways.

"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."

I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.

Did you hear about the dyslexic wanna-be bank robber? He walked in and yelled, "HANDS UP, THIS IS A MOTHER STICKING F##K UP!" The lucky idiot got away because nobody could stop laughing!

If you see a woman get raped, just walk away. Don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all.

Little boy: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?

Little boy: Your parents.