This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Dad: how was your trip to the park? Daughter: it was good until the man came along. Dad: *gasps* whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened? Daughter: he made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off... Dad: oh God, what next? Daughter: Nothing, that was it. Dad: oh, come on! that wasn't exciting, make something up!
Did you hear about the Boston marathon cause well I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away
What did the koala do when he was to educated He ran away from koalapidia
Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it? A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.
did you hear about the orphan who ran away from home? wait a minute! what am i talking about?
How do we know Cinderella is a virgin?
Because she runs away from balls.
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! please help, please help!"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
My girlfriend passed away recently.
at the funeral everyone was shocked about it
Still even when dead she is the best shag I've ever known
I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb so I asked "are you an orphan?" "Yes" he replied "what gave me away?" He asked "your parents" I said.
why did they chicken cross the rode to get away from this conversation
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Steven Hawking died because he was to far away from the Wi-Fi router
Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?
Coz what is he gonna do, tell his parents?
The Tent Pole Is Up, The Canvas Is Spread, The Hell With Breakfast, Come Back To Bed.
Take The Tent Pole Down, Put The Canvas Away, The Monkey Had A Hemorrhage, No Circus Today
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
because who are they gonna tell? not their parents.
I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good. Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.
