Ass Jokes

Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!

Your so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly ass face

What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?

Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!

Even the twin towers got a better upgrade than your ugly ass

Guy goes into the gas station says I need a box of rubbers with pesticide. The cashier said pesticide don't you mean spermicide? The guy says no! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week and I am going to kill it.

My wife is the only person that has missing posters attached to her ass.

My wife is so fat. She gets home her ass gets home a half hour later.

I’m gonna put my AR 15 up your fucking ass and pull the trigger ;)

What's Osama bin Laden's favorite song?

Under The Sea!!!!! Under The Sea!!! - The Little Mermaid

Get it ;) Dead ass motherfucker

gas gas gas i'm gonna step on your ass TONIGHT FOR FUN YEAH YEAH YEAH

What did one ass cheek say to the other?

Blimey, what's that smell coming from the corridor?

stan says shut the fuck up or sit your ass down on that bitch chair

rot in hell? more like nasty-ass thot in a well.

Say the drive through at MacDonald order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them my sake and say sake that ass

AHOY SPONGEBOB! I JUST COMMITED HOMICIDE IN SYRIA, AND THE ONE-PARTY STATE IS AFTER ME FUCKING ASS! ARGAGAGAGAGAGA!

Speak to your dad before I put my hand up your ass

My crushes best friend came up to me and called me my crushes dog 🐕 so then I say wow your an ass for calling me a bich he then looks at me wide eyed and I just walk away.

Some kid- hey did you know theres an orphanage down the street?! Me-NO WAY! Wanna check it out? Kid-NO ITS HAUNTED!! Me- Haunted my ass lets go! Kid- wait isnt your house also haunted??? Me- yea