Ass jokes
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on your ass!
TONIGHT
FOR FUN
YEAH YEAH YEAH
What did one ass cheek say to the other?
"Blimey, what's that smell coming from the corridor?"
Stan says shut the f**k up or sit your ass down on that b***h chair!
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.
Memes
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"
Speak to your dad before I put my hand up your ass!
Hot water look a**.
Shrek yells at Donkey. Fiona yells, "Stop yelling at the ass!"
Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."
Rot in hell?
More like nasty-ass thot in a well.
Knock knock. Who's there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana kick your a**!
Some kid: Hey, did you know there's an orphanage down the street?!
Me: NO WAY! Wanna check it out?
Kid: NO, IT'S HAUNTED!!
Me: Haunted my ass, let's go!
Kid: Wait, isn't your house also haunted???
Me: Yea
Ohh my god, it's a dinosaur with a huge ass mothafuckin' noseeee!!!!
So fat you're a scale said, "Fat ass."
The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.
Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?
Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.
Me: What are you?
Jake: A muddeasso.
Are you from Tennessee, because I eat ass.
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