Ass jokes
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.
What did one ass cheek say to the other?
"Blimey, what's that smell coming from the corridor?"
Even the Twin Towers got a better upgrade than your ugly ass.
Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on your ass!
TONIGHT
FOR FUN
YEAH YEAH YEAH
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite song?
"Under The Sea!!!!! Under The Sea!!!" - The Little Mermaid
Get it ;) Dead ass motherfucker.
My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.
Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!
Rot in hell?
More like nasty-ass thot in a well.
Stan says shut the f**k up or sit your ass down on that b***h chair!
What do you call a green camel?
My parents left me.
Did you sit in sugar?
Because you've got a sweet ass.
Heil Kyle!
You know what a big ass is. If I told you it's a fake ass, so I'm lesbo.
Knock knock. Who's there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana kick your a**!
Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."
Some kid: Hey, did you know there's an orphanage down the street?!
Me: NO WAY! Wanna check it out?
Kid: NO, IT'S HAUNTED!!
Me: Haunted my ass, let's go!
Kid: Wait, isn't your house also haunted???
Me: Yea
Speak to your dad before I put my hand up your ass!
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"