Ass jokes
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.
Speak to your dad before I put my hand up your ass!
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"
Knock knock. Who's there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana kick your a**!
Some kid: Hey, did you know there's an orphanage down the street?!
Me: NO WAY! Wanna check it out?
Kid: NO, IT'S HAUNTED!!
Me: Haunted my ass, let's go!
Kid: Wait, isn't your house also haunted???
Me: Yea
So fat you're a scale said, "Fat ass."
"Pizza place, pizza place, are you there?"
"You're ass heck bye."
Riley Styler :)
I ass big ass you :-)
My brother has a fucking ass and I wake up to him twerking.
Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"
A: So they can look at their a**.
You know what a big ass is. If I told you it's a fake ass, so I'm lesbo.
"Um, honey, I'm glad you're done, but um, WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I'M PRETTY SURE FACES DON'T BEND THAT WAY!!"
Wanna hear a joke? You thick.
How do you know Thor has your back?
He's an Asgardian (ass guardian).
Beauty is blind? Ya damn right, 'cause that's what happened when she saw your ass.
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.
My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.
My wife is the only person that has "missing" posters attached to her ass.