Ass jokes
A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."
The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"
The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."
What did one ass cheek say to the other?
"Blimey, what's that smell coming from the corridor?"
Stan says shut the f**k up or sit your ass down on that b***h chair!
You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
Even the Twin Towers got a better upgrade than your ugly ass.
Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!
Rot in hell?
More like nasty-ass thot in a well.
Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"
Me: What are you?
Jake: A muddeasso.
Speak to your dad before I put my hand up your ass!
Knock knock. Who's there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana kick your a**!
Ohh my god, it's a dinosaur with a huge ass mothafuckin' noseeee!!!!
The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.
So fat you're a scale said, "Fat ass."
Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?
Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.
Shrek yells at Donkey. Fiona yells, "Stop yelling at the ass!"
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