Ass jokes

"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"

The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.

Ohh my god, it's a dinosaur with a huge ass mothafuckin' noseeee!!!!

Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?

Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.

So fat you're a scale said, "Fat ass."

How do you know Thor has your back?

He's an Asgardian (ass guardian).

Me: What are you?

Jake: A muddeasso.

"Pizza place, pizza place, are you there?"

"You're ass heck bye."

My brother has a fucking ass and I wake up to him twerking.

Hot water look a**.

Are you from Tennessee, because I eat ass.

Shrek yells at Donkey. Fiona yells, "Stop yelling at the ass!"

Riley Styler :)

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I ass big ass you :-)

"Um, honey, I'm glad you're done, but um, WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I'M PRETTY SURE FACES DON'T BEND THAT WAY!!"

Wanna hear a joke? You thick.

Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"

A: So they can look at their a**.

My wife is the only person that has "missing" posters attached to her ass.

I’m gonna put my AR 15 up your fucking ass and pull the trigger!