Asked jokes

I was at the orphan place, and I saw a kid crying. And I asked him where his parents are, and he fainted.

Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.

A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"

The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

The man said, "Your parents."

I arrived at basketball and I asked little Jimmy if he brought the basketballs, and he said, "Nope, but I got two right here!"

Two nuns in a bathtub.

One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"

The other nun says, "It sure does."

Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.

You are so poor, when I pass you, you ask for spare change, and I was poor, too.

So a lady came up to me today at the bank, and she asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.

Your mama's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.

I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."

Kid on Xbox: I'm not a virgin. Ask your sister.

Bully on Xbox: I don't have a sister, dumbass.

Kid on Xbox: You will in 9 months.

Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.

Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."

I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."

I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.

I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The KGB.

The KGB wh-?

*slaps* I will ask the questions here.

Kid: Hey, why am I an orphan?

Adult: I don't know, ask your parents.

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.

A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.

The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.

Why did the Twin Towers report to the pizza restaurant?

Because they asked for pepperoni, but they got plain.