Asked jokes

A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”

I was in bio when my teacher asked what would happen if all predators were gone in an ecosystem.

The kid in the back raised his hand and said, "So what IS gonna happen to you?"

My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.

I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.

"Talking about childhood habits, my friend told me he still collects coins and post stamps and all. He asked me, I said - breastfeeding."

A kid asks Trump:

Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"

Trump: "There they are, bud!"

Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?

When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"

I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.

I asked the librarian if they had any books on anxiety.

She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"

Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?

Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.

I once met a skeleton. I asked if I could tell him a joke. He agreed. I told it to him. He found it quite “humerus”.

I walked up to 2 people kissing and stared.

After a little while, they asked me if I minded. I said no, I don’t mind.

Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"

Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.

The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"

I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.

Why doesn't George Washington carry his ID?

Because he knows he can always ask for a quarter.

Hey, I asked for a paper, but I thought it was a cut, but it turns out it was tearable.

I asked the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

I asked my sister to say something.

She said, "No."

That's what I like to hear.

You text someone to ask them why they snobbed you. Then they snob you again.