Asked jokes

Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.

I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.

My wife asked me to please quit singing "Wonderwall" in the shower.

I said, "Maybe."

"Talking about childhood habits, my friend told me he still collects coins and post stamps and all. He asked me, I said - breastfeeding."

Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?

When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"

I asked the librarian if they had any books on anxiety.

She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"

I asked the homeless woman if I could take her home. She said yes, so I took it.

A kid asks Trump:

Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"

Trump: "There they are, bud!"

I asked the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

When you're asked to tell a crazy story, but the first thing that comes up to your mind is a suicide attempt:

"Oh, I don't remember anything in particular. 😅😀"

I was in bio when my teacher asked what would happen if all predators were gone in an ecosystem.

The kid in the back raised his hand and said, "So what IS gonna happen to you?"

An Abo walks into a pub with a seagull on his shoulder. The barman asks, "Where did you find that?" The seagull replied, "At the tip, mate, there are lots there."

I asked my sister to say something.

She said, "No."

That's what I like to hear.

You text someone to ask them why they snobbed you. Then they snob you again.

A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat.

The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools; the hat was covering the hips.

I hope next time you ask your teacher to go to the toilet, your teacher says no, but when someone else asks, the teacher says yes to them.

I asked my dad to come to my Father’s Day breakfast.

The orphanage worker just said, “Don’t be silly!”

What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!

I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.

My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?

Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.