Asked jokes

Two guys were on a hunting trip, and after the first day of hunting, they didn’t see anything, so they decided the next day they would split up and meet back at the fire at dinner time.

After a day of hunting, they meet back at the fire, and one hunter asked the other, “How did your day go?”

The one hunter said, “I had the best day ever! I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever. We had sex for hours in every position you could think of.”

Then the other hunter asked him, “Was she a good lookin’ blond?” And he said, “Oh, I don’t know, I didn’t find her head.”

What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!

You text someone to ask them why they snobbed you. Then they snob you again.

Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?

When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"

I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.

I asked my dad to come to my Father’s Day breakfast.

The orphanage worker just said, “Don’t be silly!”

I arrived at basketball and I asked little Jimmy if he brought the basketballs, and he said, "Nope, but I got two right here!"

Ask someone if they are a rhino. If they say yes, tell them "so you're horny." And if they reply yes again, block them from your life entirely.

I was at the orphan place, and I saw a kid crying. And I asked him where his parents are, and he fainted.

Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.

You are so poor, when I pass you, you ask for spare change, and I was poor, too.

The guy called up to the orphanage, then he asked, "Where are the kids' faces?"

Then another guy said, "Sorry, there's no homepage."

This is not a joke, Tom. I'm asking you to leave me alone, stop being sexual, I don't like you.

A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"

The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

The man said, "Your parents."

I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.

Your mama's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.

I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."

So a lady came up to me today at the bank, and she asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.

The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.

Why did the Twin Towers report to the pizza restaurant?

Because they asked for pepperoni, but they got plain.