Ares jokes
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
Why are Americans stupid? They shoot everyone that goes to school.
Why are most absent dads mechanics?
They like to nut and bolt.
Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
Why are orphans not boomerangs? Because they never come back.
When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.
You are getting Cole for Christmas, you shit fuckers.
It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.
Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"
John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.
Q: Why can’t orphans be criminals?
A: They are not wanted.
I went over to a crying child and said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at an orphanage!
What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?
Catholics are registered sex offenders.
I would kiss your lips, but your legs are blocking the way.
If you know, you know. 😏😏
When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
The cemetery is so crowded, people are just dying to get in.
Technically, a human is hollow. We have an empty tube through us from the mouth and nose to the asshole and dick or pussy. We are basically tubes.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.