Ares jokes
Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.
Q: Why are Americans so good at Rubik's cubes?
A: 'Cause they have a history of separating colors.
Roses are red, Violets are fine, You can be the six, And I can be the nine.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hitler blew an 11 country lead, During World War 2.
What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?
Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents
👱♀️ 👱♂️What is the difference between two blondes and a Libertarian?
A Libertarian hasn't won a presidential election since 1972, and two blondes are too stupid to run in a presidential election.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...
... the first two being politics and religion.
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?
2 slices of Brad.
Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...
...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.
Why are Black people getting stronger?
Because the TVs are getting bigger.
Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.
"13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.
"Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.
"You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.
Hey, Reaper!!! Where are you going?
"I finished my job."
What about me?