Ares jokes
What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?
2 slices of Brad.
"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."
Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.
Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
There are a lot of things that explode... like cars, boats, the Twin Towers.
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?
Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.
Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
👱♀️ 👱♂️What is the difference between two blondes and a Libertarian?
A Libertarian hasn't won a presidential election since 1972, and two blondes are too stupid to run in a presidential election.
Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.
Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.
(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents
Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got a bouquet in my pants for you.
Roses are red, Violets are fine, You can be the six, And I can be the nine.
Q: Why are Americans so good at Rubik's cubes?
A: 'Cause they have a history of separating colors.
Why are Black people getting stronger?
Because the TVs are getting bigger.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.