Ares jokes

A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.

Why are Americans stupid? They shoot everyone that goes to school.

Technically, a human is hollow. We have an empty tube through us from the mouth and nose to the asshole and dick or pussy. We are basically tubes.

Why are most absent dads mechanics?

They like to nut and bolt.

What’s the best part about sex with twenty eight year olds?

There are twenty of them.

A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.

The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."

The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."

The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.

I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"

He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."

Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.

What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.

Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.

Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

Q: Why can’t orphans be criminals?

A: They are not wanted.

What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?

Catholics are registered sex offenders.

I would kiss your lips, but your legs are blocking the way.

If you know, you know. 😏😏

Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.

I went over to a crying child and said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at an orphanage!

me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.

Roses are red, your eyes are brown; never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.

Israel and Palestine jokes are hard at these times.

It’s all about execution.

Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?

Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.

What did the person say to the orphan?

"Where are your parents?"