Ares jokes
If Donald Trump is running against Bill Clinton, it's safe to say that we are witnessing the Lolita Express Erections...oops, I mean Elections.
If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don't bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want.
They believe they are equal to men, right? So they are able to fight back, right? Then prove it! My EQUALITY!
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are always up.
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.
JFK: Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
What are women allergic to and always try to dodge?
Accountability.
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
Fat people are the reason we have double doors.
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.
What’s the best part about sex with twenty eight year olds?
There are twenty of them.
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.
The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."
The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."
The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.
Roses are red, your eyes are brown; never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
Roses are red. Watches are gold. Get on your knees and do what you're told.
Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?
Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
Why are there no Walmarts in Palestine?
There are Targets everywhere.
Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.