Ares jokes
The cemetery is so crowded, people are just dying to get in.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
Q: Why can’t orphans be criminals?
A: They are not wanted.
I went over to a crying child and said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at an orphanage!
What is the difference between Catholics and Lutherans?
Catholics are registered sex offenders.
I would kiss your lips, but your legs are blocking the way.
If you know, you know. 😏😏
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
Technically, a human is hollow. We have an empty tube through us from the mouth and nose to the asshole and dick or pussy. We are basically tubes.
When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.
Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can’t take medicine on an empty stomach.
Why are there no Walmarts in Palestine?
There are Targets everywhere.
Roses are red. Watches are gold. Get on your knees and do what you're told.
Roses are red, your eyes are brown; never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?
Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.
What are women allergic to and always try to dodge?
Accountability.
While fucking, my sister said, "Brother, you are so naughty! You fucked our elder aunt every day in the absence of my uncle and cousins and made her pregnant!" Little did she know, I fucked our mother every day in the absence of her, my father, and my elder brother and made my mom pregnant as well!
A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
Girlfriends are just like AK47s; they always go off on you.