Ares jokes
There was a kid sitting in a corner.
Me: "Hey! Why are you here at an orphanage?"
Orphan: "..."
Me: "Oh, wait, you're an orphan."
Why are 9/11 victims so good at reading?
Because they can go through 100 stories in 5 minutes.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Your ass is clean because Randy won’t stop liking [it].
If you are talking to an Indian and notice a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what you said... They are recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.
Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in 10% of their body.
Why are school shootings branded “very American”?
1. They usually happen in the USA.
2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.
"You may not rest, there are monsters nearby."
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
I've tried to like all of your jokes. They are funny 😆 and joshisboss, you are awesome. Keep up the good work 👍!
Wow, these cow jokes are moo-amazing!
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"
Me: "What are you doing??"
Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"
Me: "I don't know."
Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"
Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"
Don't bully kids.
Are there support groups for men?
Why are Americans bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they have already lost 2 towers.
These are funny, y'all are disgusting people. Just shut the f*** up. Rape isn't something you joke about.
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims because they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds. 😂
There is this little boy, and he gets in the shower with his mom and looks up and says, "Mommy, what are those?"
She replies with, "These are my headlights."
He looks down and says, "Mommy, what's that?" She says, "That's my garage."
So he gets out of the shower and gets in with his dad and looks down and says, "What is that?" The dad says, "This is my snake."
Later that night, he wakes up in the middle of the night and screams, "Mommy, Mommy, turn off your headlights and close your garage. Daddy's snake is trying to get in!"
What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?
1. It stands for inflation.
2. It limits production.
3. It encourages cooperation.
4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.
Women in general are jokes.
Gay gang.
Are you a rope? Cause I'm tryna put you around my neck 😏