Ares jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you!

Why are orphans so scared of the dark?

The dad can't check the closet for them.

Hi Gwen, how is life!

A. Bad, lame, and suckish.

B. Good, awesome, and you are loved!

C. Perfect!

I'm guessing that your life is NOT B nor C! Man, you're such an asshole!

Q: What did one snake say to the other?

A: Nothing because they are both dead.

All of these are funny. Why are they the "worst jokes ever" lol?

Tell me orphan jokes are a really bad joke. People are really orphans, and there is a lot of 'em, and they are all depressed. Who would make fun of depressed people? Well, those dumbass evil people!!

Listen, my friends say I am gay, but I tell them I am not because I am not happy. In fact, I have no life. You are my friend. I trust you with my life. Now, can you take it?

Why are half of the orphans blind? Because they can't find their parents.

My mom asked, "Why are you so depressed? It could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer."

I replied, "I wish I were Tracy Latimer because then someone would kill me."

An Asian man walks into a bar in Australia. The bartender says to him “why are you here? Get back in that wing wong country.”

The Asian man says “I’m here traveling and now I’m gonna attack you with my 40 gallons of fried rice I’ve had in my pocket since wa dinowar wages. #wingwong”

So I saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.

Then I told him, "What are you doing?"

He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.

He then told me how easy would that be?

I told him: "That sounds pretty SIMPle."

Fritz Cheng was asked to write three articles on the subject. He went to his grandmother and advised her: "Question: Kill people! I am sorry, Mr. Fritz, I am looking for his brother—what do you suggest?"

Brother: "I'm Superman. I am Superman!"

Fritz remembers entering the room. That's Alfredo's question in front of the TV: "Do you have any advice?"

Fritz tells a story from his school days. "Remember our words?" said Professor Fleck. "An artist? Is that true? Frison, who are you?"

"I am Superman. I'm Superman," he said. "I hope to meet the president."

Once there was a midget man jumping on a pothole saying 43, 43, 43. A kid walks up to the man and says, "Why are you saying 43, 43, 43?"

The man stops and looks at him, then he starts jumping again and says 43, 43, 43.

The kid asked him again and so on.

Then the man stops, opens the pothole, throws the kid in, closes it, and starts jumping and says 44, 44, 44!!!"

Tech administrator of a school: Hm, a message from Google security?

Tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT!

Assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME?

Tech administrator of a school: WE'VE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE!

Assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board.

A FEW MOMENTS LATER

Head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, almost as good as the one with Jack, Jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA

Tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right?

Head of school board: *whispers* yeah we're fucked...

TWO HOURS LATER

Important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!

AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER

A paradigm are so bad, go away from fast and fast and faster than a rabbit. Once upon a time there was a rabbit who teased a tortoise. The tortoise challenged the rabbit to a race. The race began and the rabbit ran fast as the tortoise walked slow. The rabbit thought the tortoise could not come here so slow, so he decided to take a nap. As he took a nap, the tortoise walked past through him and soon the rabbit woke. He ran as fast as he could, but when he came to the end, the rabbit saw the tortoise and then the rabbit never teased the tortoise again.

I was at the club and then my dad walked up and said, "You're 15, why are you high and at the club?" So I ran. Then my uncle was at the car and took me home, so I was grounded. Then my boyfriend came because my parents went out and we had sex and we were very loud. My dad came home and walked in. He had my boyfriend pin me against the wall so my dad could spank me.

A bear and a rabbit are at a bar getting high, smoking weed, talking about nothing but lies and straight up garbage.

And then the bear starts to drink too much damn liquor, gets drunk, and asks the rabbit, "Can I have one more scotch, pretty please?"

And the rabbit says, "Hell to the naw, I'm not about to carry your drunk ass home with me and smell your breath."

Who are the fastest readers? Nine-eleven victims, because they fell through 720 stories in under 10 seconds.

Why are all these pathetic jokes about school shootings?😒 You all are so fucking pathetic... Humanity is officially gone, stupid bitches...

Dad, why are we here?

Because you're not loved.